Demons of doubt - Vegas-bound?

[cckkwack!] That's me clearing mucus from my throat. Throat swelled up last night on my flight from NY and here I am now, nose running, inhaling Airborne - despite the knowledge it's too late for that. Colds suck.

It's Friday night at 7:30 and I am damn near exhausted from a hectic week. This week was more about my career than my running.

On Tuesday, I led an all-day business strategy review meeting for 20 people, which our new Global Head of Procurement attended. Nothing like have your boss's, boss's, boss, whom you never met, fly over from London and assess your work. All went well.

Preparing for this meeting required late nights, which curbed the mileage. Then it was onto my flight to NY to get to our Norwalk office on Wed AM.

Onto my running. I am very, slowly creeping back into my pre-marathon form. My plan was to go for 32 miles this week.

Monday, I crushed 3 hard miles before work. It's all I had time for. I did three in 20:30 with the last mile at 6:17.

Had planned to sneak in 4 on Wed eve in Norwalk, but it was pissing rain and I was beat.

Thursday AM, I got in a nice 7.5 miler in very beautiful, mild weather on my old stomping grounds in Norwalk.

Today, head congested and all, I did an easy 5.5 miler at 8:40 pace. This put me at 16 for the week.

Now, I have this cold. I am home on Friday night at 7:30 ready to go to bed.

My plan was to try to do 12 tomorrow. Tomorrow it is supposed to be cold - a "feels like" high of 28, with possible showers. I don't want to get sick further.

The Vegas Half is in 4 weeks. I need to confess that I am having second thoughts about entering Vegas. I have not registered as yet.

My plan was to try to maintain my marathon fitness and PR in Vegas. Then, I would be ready to kick into Boston training.

With my schedule, I am just not sure that I will be in the shape I need to be in to PR. The weather has turned on us. The holidays are here. I am going to Denver next weekend to visit my sis, which will make training tough.

The other part of me says "suck it up and do your best". Why should I continue to pressure myself. So maybe I won't run a sub 1:30 in vegas. What if I just trained my best under the cirumstances.

Then the other side says, why waste a $85 entry fee - and go to bed early in sleepless Vegas for a 6 AM start (read: boring) if you think you won't run your best? (yes, $85 for a flippin' half - ridic!)

Plus, Boston training starts right after the half. BUT, my parents will be in Vegas to cheer me on, which has never happened before. So why not run?

The PR marathon feels like a year ago already. My body has been creaky and I have not run more than 8 miles since Oct 22.

So why push myself? Then I thought about how I have never watched a large marathon. So what if I just cheered the Vegas marathoners and rested for Boston training? That would be fun ... and pathetic.... and a cop-out for a highly capable runner... ?

Ah, self-induced anxiety of a runner.... [sigh]